There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
