Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
