its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize