So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
