Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize