What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
