I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
