i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
