The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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