i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want nice things and good sex
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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