So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
