Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
