So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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