:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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