so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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