I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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