I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
