in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
