After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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