We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
