what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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