Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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