He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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