she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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