In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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