Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
