I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize