one might say we're banned from that church
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
