69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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