This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So squirting runs in the family.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
