So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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