I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
