So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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