she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
