I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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