You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
