Where is the hickey?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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