She's JV to your varsity
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
