oh god the rape fog is back!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
