you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
