Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
