i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
