Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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