I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
