so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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