dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
