The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
