Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize