So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
