sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize