I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
