you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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