come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
