Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
