Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize