i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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