Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
