I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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