she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
