I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
