i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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