Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So much Jack, so little girl.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
