The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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