yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize