Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
