she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
