The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
