My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
