Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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