Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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