I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
