I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize